One year after the Dunbar Village incident has passed. No progress has been made.
Yesterday, in Philadelphia, a black woman was forced into her apartment and raped for four hours by several men. According to ABC news, quite a few neighbors said that they heard this sister's screams, but 'didn't think to call the police'. A female neighbor heard her screams and said and I quote: "I heard her screaming , 'Oh my God! Oh my goodness! Oh my God!'... Then I didn't pay attention and laid back down."
The first rapist (who forced the victim into her apartment when she tried to pass him in the hallway) was so confident that her neighbors would not do anything, that he called two of his friends to come over to join his rape party. They happily and viciously accepted the invitation.
The victim had to walk a mile to the police station herself. Does that sound familiar?
A similar incident had happened a few blocks away shortly before.
Read the whole story here.
As many of you know, the violent gang rape/torture that we call The Dunbar Village Incident was the final straw that turned many of us into black female activists. Most of us immediately recognized that heinous crime as an ominous harbinger of things to come.
I still remember the day that I heard about it -- I was in Washington DC at a Congressional Hearing entitled "From Imus to Industry", which pretended to investigate the denigrating and stereotypical imagery of (black) women in media. I was sitting next to Gina McCauley from What About our Daughters when she told me the horrific story during a brief recess.
We had just finished sitting through hours of white male media execs and black male entertainers as they piously and vigorously defending their 'right' to denigrate, demean, and lyrically rape and abuse black women. At that point, I knew that I could no longer hide in the shadows; I would have to step forward and forcefully speak up for Black women and girls.
When we review the historical background of societies that regularly mutilate and destroy women, we learn that these horrors occur over time: in an escalating progression, with obvious markers and signifiers -- and many chances to change course.
The way to mass atrocity is always paved with disregard to the pain of others and a willful disbelief of how widespread the problem is. The inroad to open and mass violence against black American women is being been paved right before our eyes... and some of the pavers are other black women.
When a black woman can actually lie down and take a nap while listening to the screams of a another black woman being gang raped, the way has been paved. We all KNOW that something is seriously askew when black women jump and shout for joy when an obvious sexual predator of black girls is found 'not guilty'.
Let's get out our tools and start tearing up this road, before it's too late.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Another gang attack of a black woman while neighbors ignore screams
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89 comments:
Sisters, protect yourselves. All I can say...
Her lazy behind couldn't at least call 911. No wonder no one takes black folks seriously we don't even take care of each other and people want to march when a cop shoots a black man. No wonder we get no respect, thats why immigrants come here and see we have no respect for ourselves or each other so they figure why do they have to respect us. Maybe Bill Cosby will speak about this so it will get more publicity
SheCodes I'm p*ssed! I believe once again we need to give Philadelphia some attention just like we did Dunbar Village.
This is why I did post on the need to be just as aware of local politics as national politics and the need to defend ourselves beyond talking about defending ourselves.
I can't imagine saying anything I haven't already said for the last year about this. I hope is that the local citizens put a lot of pressure on the law enforcement, and local politicians and other elected officials like prosecutors, etc.
"When a black woman can actually lie down and take a nap while listening to the screams of a another black woman being gang raped, the way has been paved."
...and tell folks about it!!!!
Where's the shame even?!
There's too much resources in America for us to be unable to do something. What about dog protectors, weapons.
I am hurting. I was just on the phone collecting money for a family who just had a baby who's now sick and they have no fans in their home. Summers are scorchers here. I don't know how they live here. Sometimes the conditions are hot and harsh.
But in America, there's too much. Too much material, resources, info, just too much for nothing to be done.
~~~~~~~~`
Doesn't this feel like a fork in the road?
At the same time BW are getting their voice, the atrocities are getting more heinous.
I'm with you Shecodes. This road path must be torn and scorched. Never to be considered ever again.
(not to compare the need for a fan to this!!!)
It is interesting that as I read this, the US Supreme Court has ruled that individuals do have the right to own firearms to protect themselves in their homes.
When you can't rely on anyone else to protect you or even call for help, only one avenue is left open. We all know what that avenue is and as long as things are the way they are, we should act on what we know and protect ourselves.
My God will this ever stop! I'm still severly affected by the Dunbar atrocity and now this. We have to agitate and make sure that not only are the beasts who did this are caught but also to come up with strategies to prevent these crimes against humanity from happening.
shecodes I mentioned this on my blog and I am recommiting myself to light a fire under the Black media and organizations to put this front and center. We must do this in the political arena as well just as Symphony said.
I cannot get past the fact that she heard the women screaming and still went to sleep. What kind of world is this where you can hear a woman being raped and decide it's nap time? We really need to be talking about violence against women.
Hey Shecodes, if that black news station existed right now, think it'd cover this? (Question inspired by mrshadow33)
You know...the one run by a conservative.
Brain fart...forgot its name.
*ponders*
I'm speechless.
I'm even more determined to continue opposing the Satanic mindset that makes all of this possible.
Peace, blessings & solidarity.
I still can't believe the shameless neighbors went and told the reporter that they didn't lift a finger.
I think that's even more callous and disturbing. Something is seriously missing.
@Miriam:
Evil left unopposed becomes brazen. In my view, the large numbers of individuals who totally ignored this are even worse than the beasts who performed the attack. They create an atmostphere that is inviting & comfy for predators.
From what I've seen, the average predator is not brave---they're not looking for a fight. They like soft targets in permissive atmospheres.
That's why, without knowing anything about that area, I'm assuming it's a Black residential area. The so-called Black community is currently the equivalent of a failed state [Somalia, etc.] where anything goes.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
@privychairlady: the Black collective (I hereby REFUSE to call it a community) has a massive spiritual problem. Not a "religion" problem, a spiritual one.
When people's basic belief system does not include principles of community e.g. 'loving thy neighbor', 'golden rule', 'karma' etc -- NO amount of education will prevent things like this from happening.
We have a deeply nihilistic, selfish, law-of-the-jungle, materialistic, primitive mentality that is spread by much of our popular black faux-culture.
I used to think that the church would be the solution to teach people to care for one another, even out of self-preservation. I was wrong.
At this point, enlightened black folk need to separate and form a firewall between their children and those who subscribe to this sick kind of thinking.
@symphony: I made a few calls about it but so far it doesn't look like people will rally around that story.
The information about the rapists is really sketchy: green and white gloves, thin build, medium complexion, etc.
@miriam: Yes I believe two things:
1) Tear up the road, and
2) Get off the road. Immerse yourself in a healthier environment, and it doesn't have to be black, either.
@deborah_evans: Yes, I just heard about the ruling and was like, I should have bought a few shares of Smith and Wesson!! ARGH!! :-) Their stock soared right after the decision.
I definitely believe that a good firearm with training is a powerful and underutilized option for black women. If men knew that most black women have a gun and would use it -- and everybody who lived in our houses was a crack shot, TRUST they would not be so quick to brazenly waltz in to create havoc.
It probably would not have helped this poor woman though. This is why NEIGHBORS have a DUTY to get involved. Hitting 911 takes no energy and it is anonymous!!!
@mrshadow33: You are right. It will not stop until we stop it. Let me know what you are doing so that I can help.
@renee: Violence against women needs to start with a conversation with WOMEN, and not always from a standpoint of being a victim. E.g. what to do when you hear a woman scream, see a woman with bruises, see males lurking around a woman's house.
@katie: I honestly don't know if they would cover stories like this. The Black news station is going to be started by JC Watts.
@tasha212: *Sigh*
@khadija: I have some ideas for Royal Pawns, so stay tuned. I had to wait for the second chapter of the QAPW to be reviewed and copyrighted.
@miriam: The mentality seriously reminds me of the soldiers/rapists in the Congo.
@khadija: I'm with you. Shouldn't neighbors be charged with SOMETHING... 'depraved indifference' or something to that effect?
If I was that woman, I would seriously consider suing them.
First of all my heart goes out to the women who were attacked. I hope and pray that they will get the help and support they need after being victimized.
I read this via email and it just went all through me. WTF? excuse my language but how can anyone just totally ignore the cries of another person?
It is past due to time to advocate self-protection. For years people would rant with my dad and my mom because both of them are firm believers in owning guns for protection.
My dad has always pushed me and my sister to learn how to use and maintain weapons for protection.
While people want to holla about the levels of black on black violence and how we need to not be armed. It is stories like this that makes me feel we need to be armed and have martial arts training.
This is so sad to learn about. Especially the part about the neighbors ignoring her cries!
It seems that we need to teach other women to at least respond by dialing 911. That being the very least that they can do to help. The era of stop snitching is flatlined! And we need to make it plain that we aren't going to be passive about this type of behavior from males or females.
Shecodes, our departed sister, Octavia Butler--the sci fi novelist, gave us a preview of occurences like this and other ones to come in her futuristic Nebula award-winning book, "Parable of the Sower" (1993) where people are not even safe inside gated communities. The sheer accuracy of her predictions is chilling.
One reviewer said, "Butler's main concern is to incite her readers to "consider alternative ways of thinking and doing."
Aside from that, this type of attack doesn't surprise me because I've worked with many of these youths--white, black, and Hispanics. They look like everybody else, but they're very damaged and some of them are very intelligent--with no inhibitions and no remorse. There are some very damaged young people out there and they're going to grow up to be very damaged adults.
There's not much said about them because they have their "rights" to privacy and the people who know about them make sure they don't live near them. LOL! I'll bet you any amount of money that these youths have thick case files detailing just how violently twisted they are. I think communities need to be notified about some of them because other than that, other folks don't have much of a chance.
Shecodes, this is why I can't stop myself from coming to your blog. These are the atrocities that will transpire if my sistas don't listen to me. I've talked about this on my blog just last month.
I'm not surprised, I have worked with every indigent and damaged youth you could ever think of. LOL! I know what they are capable of -- LOL!
We must find an alternative way of thinking to elude these damaged youths from attacking AA women. There is more to come. I know everything and I must share it with every sista that will listen to me. LOL!
I will spread my word on every blog until the world hears me. LOL!
Speaking of attacks on black women, I was given the honor of being the subject of a very angry post by conservative activist Glenn Sacks. I made a comment questioning his "alliance" with black men and things hit the fan. He also allows racially biased remarks aimed at black women to remain on his blog. Here is a link to my post which contains a link to his:
http://lormarie.com/2008/06/28/why-is-glenn-sacks-sounding-like-a-bleeding-heart-liberal/
Shecodes-
all i can say is...
...UGH!
as long as the perpetrators are "endangered" and in need of our understanding, protection, and coddling folks will not ever get around to focusing on the survivors of these atrocities.
i for one would rather have to deal with charges for unlawfully posessing a firearm (and using it) than trying to heal, forget, and get over sustaining battery and abuse at the hands of several strangers for hours. i want to live free or die, in that order.
these non stop atrocities and folks acting like sisters are "stuck in the past" are too much for me. there are sisters perpetuating this nonsense and i have no patience for it or them. when it becomes apparent that folks won't give me a break...i TAKE one. i am taking a break from the nonsense and urge others as well. if another black man or woman acts as if they don't know that brothers are more dangerous to black women than anyone else at this point---i may not be so polite going forward. i have had enough. it is time to get real.
let's do the %#@! thing! enough is enough!
blessings all,
focusedpurpose
word up
if you live in the dayton ohio area and you are a woman living by yourself, I will offer FREE self defense lessons. this has got to stop
I'm with all of you who are advocating just blowing the brains out of perps like these. Sorry, but no more "Aw but it's a bruvvah" crap for an excuse. You cease being a "brotha" when you decide to prey on Black women and children. Now, you're just another enemy to be eliminated. And if you aid and abet these animals, then you're in the enemy camp as well.
I agree with SheCodes that we need to find our refuges where we can and not fret about whether or not it's a Black one. I grew up when the tide was starting to shift. It used to be viewed as traitorous to run off to live in the non-Black world because that world was so abusive to Black folk and the Black community was support to be a comfort and respite. Same thing about interracial dating and Black women. Black women who dated interracially were seen at the most as vicious, sellout race-traitors and at the least as poor, deluded Negresses for thinking these non-Black men would even deign to take them seriously (assuming that Black men automatically would if they were "good enough" women). But then I started seeing Black men and the Black "community" treating Black women with the same disrespect and disregard as the White one did. At first, it hit us dark-skinned gals the hardest as we were never the beauties in our communities or in the larger society. That's when I got out. I got tired of Black men and Black people period disrespecting me because I dared look just as Negro as their behinds.
Then it just spread to ALL Black women, even the pretty, good-haired, light-eyed, light-skinned ones. And those Black women were just plain shocked while I just shook my head because I had tried to tell them back in the day and got called everything but a Child of God. Now the pain hit them and I was supposed to sympathize. Well, I did up to a point.
Women like Miss Naptime, I wouldn't pee on if they were on fire and I had a full bladder and was downing a beer. I may be inclined to take her sorry ass out as well, but then it'd be premeditated murder and not self-defense.
Yup, I got absolutely ZEE-ROW issues or qualms about putting these mad dogs down with a bullet. It'd be way more humane treatment than what they served out to their victim(s). I totally agree with focusedpurpose when she states, "i for one would rather have to deal with charges for unlawfully posessing a firearm (and using it) than trying to heal, forget, and get over sustaining battery and abuse at the hands of several strangers for hours. i want to live free or die, in that order. " So would I. I'd rather deal with straight up murder charges that'd more than likely accompany me killing some bastard while protecting myself (because we all know that people want Black women literally to lie down and just take it--how dare we uppity Black b**ches think we have the right to be safe!) because at least that means I'm still alive to be held over for trial.
Folk don't know how much this society depends on there being a bottom group of people that everyone can feel free to pick on and exploit at their whim. That has been Black women for the longest. And I know everyone who reads this blog knows that has to stop. So expect a whale of a backlash that'll make the supposed one that happened to feminist look like a carnival ride. So if we start hearing about more Black women killing their attackers, we'll start hearing more about those Black women being brought up on charges lest sistas get the message that we are worth defense, even if it's only self-defense and act on it. You think the messages out there about Black women are harsh now? When sistas really start waking up the gloves WILL come off! And it will be a hella lot uglier than calling Michelle Obama Barack's "baby momma."
Witchsistah said:
Same thing about interracial dating and Black women. Black women who dated interracially were seen at the most as vicious, sellout race-traitors and at the least as poor, deluded Negresses for thinking these non-Black men would even deign to take them seriously
~~~~
As someone also in IR relationship, can you believe that there are still some with that way of thinking?
~~~~~~~~
Re: fire arms. I'm sure there are legal ways to go about this, no?
It can't always be illegal to own and use a fire arm. I do wonder what are the rules. I think that's part of the defense learning.
Yup, miriam, folk do still believe that. And I didn't write that to imply that there was some magical race of men that would love our dirty drawz as opposed to Black men. I'm saying that the hatred or plain old disdain of Black women is equal in ALL quarters. Non-Black men may not take us seriously as romantic partners, but hell, neither do Black men.
I remember being told by my mother as a teen and young woman that all non-Black men ever wanted from me was sex. To which I replied, "And Black men?" and mentioned my cousins who had had multiple children by a variety of Black men and those dudes were nowhere to be found. She had no response to that but to repeat more firmly what she had said before as if doing that made it REALLY true somehow.
I'm also in an IRR. I am married to a White man, yet I am not going to proclaim them as our saviors because the vast majority of them have some messed up notions about us. I see that in ALL groups though, including Black men and their Black female minions.
hi there-
Miriam said:
"Re: fire arms. I'm sure there are legal ways to go about this, no?"
those women that need guns the most tend to live in densely populated areas and there are stricter rules and regulations for "legal" possession. you can go online and research what laws and regulations pertain to the area in which you live.
it seems to me that only the criminals are armed in these communities. the law abiding citizens are sitting ducks. then you have armed to the teeth white folks ( i have personally sat in my neighborhood coffee shop while living in an predominantly white suburb and listened to men discuss arming children---male and female--- that could not have been more than ten (10). of course the conversation changed when i began to ask questions) just itching for the race wars to begin. if you think i am joking, visit white supremacist cites and peep their conversations. they see the smelly mess of this country/world as the fault of the "mud people".
black women must hit the gym- build your endurance/strength/confidence, the firing range and stop making excuses for folks just because they are in black skin. this includes other black women! you can usually tell them because they want you to focus on the exceptions in the black community and not those that are running wild and wicked.
Witchsistah, i am co-signing everything but your cuss words! gurl i know it is tempting it just isn't allowed in this house:-) as per Queen Shecodes. real spit from someone else besides Khadija (hi! sis:-) I LOVE IT!!!
at the end of the day, God helps those that help themselves. yes, this won't be for the faint of heart. for those that went into mourning over the chicago singing pedophile's acquittal---not ready...yet.
may i suggest trips to the firing range with your girlfriends? it is fun and empowering. peep who you will see there as well. the nra has safety classes that you can sign up for if you are unsure how to get started. my first time in i left...crying. i did not realize how violent firing a gun really was. silly, huh? tv spews non-stop lies about everything omg! for me, discharging a firearm has been an acquired taste.
for those sisters that don't believe in arming themselves, maybe reasoning will work? i am not being funny nor snide i just don't understand the rationale, that's all.
blessings,
focusedpurpose
I fell in love the first time I started firing weapons. LOL.
If we didnt know the judges, prosecutors and sheriff who were up for election the last time we cast a ballot WE ARE THE PROBLEM. Its mirror time folks.
Violence against Black women and children is very much a local issue just as much a global one. I'll repost some of what I said on my blog.
"Take the issues regarding Black women. No, the local politician can't change the oversexualized images on television and in magazines. But violence against women is very much a local issue and placing all the political expectations on presidents and congressmen while ignoring our state congress and our mayor and city/county commissioners is a horrible mistake.
The laws, initiatives, programs, and funding are in the books; the legislation has been passed. Too many times the problem is the enforcement, or the lack of. We elect the county sheriffs who are responsible for protecting us. We vote for the mayor and commissioners. The police chief, appointed by the mayor and confirmed by the city commissioners, trains and sets the tone for how police officers respond to domestic violence calls.
Once the violent criminals who prey upon our family, friends and neighbors are apprehended it is the prosecutor and judge, who oftentimes are elected into office without anyone knowing anything about them or their ideology, that determine the punishment. Will the punishment for harming women and children be stiff or a simple tap on the wrist before the criminals are sent back into our neighborhoods where they feel comfortable to attack. Remember, they won't victimize the judge's neighborhood."
Until we start holding local officials even more accountable than presidential hopefuls we'll keep coming on blogs talking about how shocked we are.
@Miriam:
The large cities where Black folks live (and the surrounding suburbs) have the most stringent gun control laws. However, there are usually exceptions for licensed private detectives and security guards.
So, getting a private detective license might be something worth looking into for those who live in these sorts of jurisdictions. [Often with just a security guard license, one is entitled to have the gun only while at work. Or when going to or from one's job as a security guard. It can get complicated. It's good to consult an attorney about this.]
One of my colleagues has been quietly explaining the potential exceptions for any Black female coworker who will listen. I went to college with him [I was an Alpha Sweetheart & he's an Alpha---not all Black 'greeks' are useless. LOL!].
He's VERY SERIOUS about protecting his wife and daughters, and by extension, other Black women and children. He's distressed at how resistant so many Black women are to effective self-defense. A lot of us just don't want to think about it. At all. Including martial arts self-defense classes.
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@WitchSista:
I 100% co-sign what you said. {raised fist salute} One thing: As a member of the so-called 'light-skinned, light-haired' Black population, I just want to note for the record that I've been speaking out against Negro hue-ism since high-school.
Which is when I first noticed it; along with the fact that the bulk of Black celebrities are lighter-skinned White women's children. [Or they look like White women's children.] What I got in response from other Black folks was often, "What's your problem? You're 'light-skinned'."
__________________________________
@FocusedPurpose:
Thanks for the shout-out! {waving 'hello'} Yes, tv lies about everything, including the reality of guns. During my visit to a downstate gun range, I was shocked by the noise, the shell casings flying around, and the recoil involved in shooting.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
"Let's get out our tools and start tearing up this road"
**rumaging through arsenary closet**
Well, looking through
my box of tools...I have mostly things to add for the spiritual plane... I can offer...
(1) prayer
(2) If cliche's statements or cute or "hip" jingles are
the most appealing, then I say beat this messages over and over to the masses in that form on key billboards, ads, youtubes, Facebooks, whatever medium at our
disposal.
(3) teaching via humor and also
stories (some say saying something in story forms are secret
forms of prayer when a decree has already been set)
(4) I suppose it would help to know who is the "enemy".
I think the fire arms will help women to go cautiously down whatever road, but not sure if it will destroy the pavement of that road particular road we are trying to eliminate.
For those who can't get fire arms legally (or illegally) I suppose there's self defense, martial arts, neighbor escape routes to planout, etc.
I'd venture to say there are two problems in regards to that 'road'. The Internal One. The External One.
The Internal One is the ideas beaten into our heads against
possible fire arm use (with mindfulness); about confusing
judging someone vs holding resentment (that more in regards to the R. Kelly business); callous and disregard for another black woman's life; unwillingness to deviate from "normal" life to get fighting
lessons or other (increasingly)
necessary defenses.
Then there's the External One:
Lilith on steroids (aka media)
The actual perps (who follow Lilith)
As long as we don't tackle Lilith there, our enemies -the perpetrators of this type of violence- will increase like pestilence.
I don't know why but sometimes folks think to be a "good guy" one must be lamb-like. But to be a "bad guy" its okay to use whatever
resources, strength, etc.
For those, I just want to add that Devora wasn't wimpy; Yael was not lamb-like, Abraham when he made up his mind to get his nephew Lot back didn't cower, Moses tackled Pharaoh. Kind David didn't flinch.
We can do it!
Khadija said:
He's distressed at how resistant so many Black women are to effective self-defense
~~~
Once a family member told me:
That if I didn't have a weapon, then I'd have no reason to use it. LOL. That guy turned out to be a perp. lol.
"When a black woman can actually lie down and take a nap while listening to the screams of a another black woman being gang raped, the way has been paved. We all KNOW that something is seriously askew when black women jump and shout for joy when an obvious sexual predator of black girls is found 'not guilty'."
Amen. It's like Bizarro world.
As a light-skinned black woman, I do want to register that, being considered "pretty" or "more valuable" or whatever it is that patriarchy dictates, has never been a defense against rape. I was almost raped when I was 11 precisely because my would-be rapist selected me to be the one to "initiate" so, I do hope we, as black women, abandon this skin-color divide and realize that, pretty or not, light-skinned or dark-skinned, any person with a vagina is prey to misogyny, which is what this crime is about.
Racism (external or internalized, which is what too many black men suffer from) exacerbates misogyny, which is why black women are so vulnerable in this racist woman-hating society of ours.
I agree that we need to embrace self-defense, but more importantly, we need to develop strategies for black women's collective self-defense - and stories of fellow black women taking a nap while ignoring the cries of another sister who is being gang-raped for four hours are absolutely unacceptable.
Let's revisit Shecodes' Black Queens chess game and develop some strategies here.
What to do here? I remember reading about a group of women in India who formed a vigilante posse in response to many rapes occurring on a train. Can we do this in certain dangerous communities, especially in places like "Killadelphia," where the all-around violence in that city is off the map?
@Anxious Black Woman:
About the internal color divide:
Speaking for myself only and I'm not saying that this is at all what you're saying: I won't ask darker sisters to get past anything when it comes to the 'Negro color code' until said 'code' is totally dismantled.
Darker women & girls are still being harmed by this color code. Despite the fact that color-struck Black folks have moved the 'good' end of the spectrum past me (and onto half-White & actual White women), I'm closer to the privileged end of the code. How can I in my position of relative privilege, ask those who's value is under heavier assault, to 'let it go'?
_________________________________
About collective self-defense strategies:
I think this situation is beyond what lay people can do collectively. This is an internal janjaweed that we're talking about. Deadly force is what's required with them.
There's a resistance to arms among us (except among the predators---guns are simply the tools of their trade). The vast majority of us will refuse to legally bear arms to protect our own lives. Police-approved & legal community safety efforts tend to boil down to whistles and awareness campaigns. That's not going to cut it here.
As we see from these stories, many of the Black underclass have a depraved indifference to human suffering. So, trying to organize them is not promising. Just remember Citoya's experience trying to advocate on behalf of her fellow residents at Dunbar Village. They turned on her.
In terms of more functional Black populations, they're the main ones who are resistant to thinking about active self-defense. They're looking for the police to do what the police have never done for Black folks: provide effective security.
I think the best bet is to rescue the decent people & help them relocate out of underclass Black areas. In terms of Black middle class areas, I think the best bet is to try to convince them to hire off-duty police as security guards for their neighborhoods. This is what the local hospitals (and other entities who are serious about their security) in my area do.
Off-duty police are armed, and licensed to arrest & (if need be)shoot down janjaweed with few legal complications. In terms of collective solutions, this is beyond lay people. For example, in my childhood neighborhood, gangbangers are buying ladders. They use these ladders to climb onto to the roofs of decent people's houses and snipe at other teenagers. This has become fairly common knowlege among the neighborhood residents.
That's why police helicopters are flying over what used to be a safe, middle class neighborhood (until the hordes of Section 8 recipients moved in). The helicopters just fly over & observe. They don't do anything to stop it. The residents would need to hire off-duty police to take up sniper positions on the tops of several houses on each block to stop this.
Peace, blessings & solidarity.
Khadija, the only reason why I even raised the color issue is because some had mentioned it, as if to suggest that lighter-skinned black women, who are supposedly "valued" in our colorstruck black communities, were deluded into thinking their color would protect them from sexual violence. I was merely raising the issue that, it was precisely because I was seen as "pretty" why I was targeted for rape. But of course sexual violence is a two-edged sword, because you can be targeted for rape because you are "pretty", because you are "ugly," because you are "uppity," because you suffer from low self-esteem, because you are young, because you are old.
In other words, because you are a woman!
I'm not saying that we not dismantle the complexities of how skin color affects different women when it comes to violence, but I was only registering that, from a very young age, I never believed that being lighter or pretty or "uppity" or whatever was going to protect me from rape.
I still believe our collective self-defense is necessary. I know this is going to be hard, but yes, let's start individually and then move outward.
Sexual violence is widespread among the working poor, but it's also widespread in the black middle class, especially in cases of domestic violence (let's not imagine this is simply a socioeconomic issue: sexual violence affects everyone).
If we need self-defense against the stranger on the street, we'll need it twice as much when dealing with our intimate partners.
@Anxious Black Woman: you are right that a woman's level of 'attractiveness' is not a factor in the rapist's mind.
I just commented on Gina's blog and divulged that I personally know a 48 year old black woman who was raped and kidnapped from her own home last year. I know her VERY well, as she goes to my church.
The 19 year old man used to cut her grass. Her car was stolen a week before, and she purchased a new one. Her house was robbed about a month before. Then one night this vicious young man was waiting for her in her house when she came home at night.
He cursed her and called her stupid for not turning her alarm on. He raped her repeatedly, while terrorizing her in her house. He was only convicted because he defecated in her toilet and didn't flush... his DNA was already in the system. This is one of the reasons that I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND why want to give people like him the ability to vote. They are not members of society, they are the destroyers of it.
Anyway, he put her in the trunk of her new car and drove off hoping to find somewhere to kill her. She escaped and ran to a nearby house when he stopped the car.
_____
I really do want to post the second installment of the Queenly chess series, but I am waiting for a few copyright issues to be resolved.
I will say that that there are things that can be done...
- Getting a dog cuts your likelihood of getting raped in your home in half
- Have a conversation about safety with your neighbors
One of the problems with moving out of bad neighborhoods is that some black women who are trying to live safely tend to BRING THEIR WAYWARD KIDS WITH THEM. You've got a son who sells crack? A couple of his friends will check out your nice new basement and porch and viola, the problem has followed you. Even criminals want to be in a safe neighborhood. It's complicated.
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@khadija: Salient points -- something interesting happened to me this past week though:
I am a dark skinned black woman who loves to wear her hair in a giant Diana Ross style afro. Usually black men won't even look twice at me unless I blow dry my hair in a silky straight, white-looking way.
Anyway, I spent the week with my new boyfriend, who is an attractive 6'4 dark skinned black man. Even though I am still wearing my 'fro, I definitely noticed that when standing with him, my stock suddenly shot through the roof.
Brothers were breaking their necks to check me out, 'lock eyes' with me, compliment my appearance, tell him how lucky he was, etc. These same guys would not have noticed if I set myself on fire if my man wasn't there. I was also treated extremely well at the barber shop when I went with him, etc.
I am beginning to think that a lot of these men look to 'alpha males' to decide for them who is desirable and who isn't. They will turn on a dime if a 'strong black man' tells them to. It's pathetic and weak.
@Anxious Black Woman:
I really hope nobody has the delusion that rape has anything to do with appearance. Predators will target infants to the elderly and everybody in-between. When they're in prison, they will target each other. They are rabid animals. Period.
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@Shecodes:
Oooooh! You're telling too much truth up in here when you mention Black women spreading crime by bringing their criminally-inclined children with them to formerly safe areas.
There's also the situation where the retired 'Granny,' 'Auntie,' 'Big Mama' allows her criminally-inclined grandson or nephew move into her home in a formerly peaceful & decent area. He then proceeds to create hell on earth for the rest of the neighbors.
Peace, blessings & solidarity.
I wondered if someone was going to tell us dark-skinned gals to just "let it go." I'm glad for sistas like khadija who understand why that is not only not feasible but is so dismissive of what we dark-skinned, Negro-looking Black women have to go through on the daily. I'm not saying that being light removes all problems from your life or that you get a "get out of racism free" card with green eyes. But you do have more privilege than women who look like me (especially if we choose to wear our hair as it grows out our heads).
However, I do wholeheartedly agree with anxious black woman that all one needs is a vagina to be prone to rape. Six month old BABIES have been raped as well as 80 year old grandmas. Women have been raped inside and outside their homes. They've been raped at night and in broad daylight. They've been taken in secluded areas and densely crowded ones. Big women have been raped as well as little ones. Light ones as well as dark ones. "Pretty" ones and "ugly" ones. Rich ones, poor ones, educated ones, illiterate ones. The common denominator is that they were all female. So women REALLY need to let go of the "Well, that mess happened to her because she..." trope of blaming the victim. All you need to have is a vagina and EXIST.
And I wasn't saying that light-skinned Black women were less prone to rape. I was saying that when I started trying to talk about the change I saw in how Black men treated Black women in my local community twenty years ago, I got slapped with the accusation that I was just jealous because I was not getting the attention that Whiter-looking Black women were getting. Yeah, it peeved me that Black men deemed me unattractive for looking just as Black as them (and it seemed the darker Black men were the WORST at that) and how hypocritical it was for them to want me to support and succor them for being abused for having the features they deemed ugly in me. But to me, that was a symptom of a bigger disease. That was the rash it started coming out in. Basically, what I got from a lot of Black women of varying hues was a "Sucks to be you" attitude. That's when I began to divorce myself from the Black community.
Later on, when these women finally admitted to catching the same hell that I saw, they expected me to provide them a shoulder to cry on. While I agreed that it did indeed suck, I was not going to be their Mammy. They chose back in the day to accept their unearned privilege even if it came at my (and other women like me) expense.
I began to look at non-Black men as potential partners, and as I intimated, there were a special set of problems and issues there. There was no group that Black women could claim refuge from. Many of the non-Black men saw Black women simply as animalistic sex toys, easily exploitable and discarded. They actually got attitude if you refused their purient advances or demanded to be treated better. Basically, the message was "You're just a n-word female dog! Who do you think YOU are that you believe you deserve BETTER?" Others were trying to basically turn back time in their relationships and go back to 1930 if not 1830. They had some really messed up notions about us and wanted us to embody them. They got pissy if we dared to be full-fledged human beings in their presence and not some bent, ghetto-ho stereotype.
But the even larger majority just plain didn't see Black women, as well, women! They didn't see us as feminine much less as beautiful unless we looked extra-White. We didn't register on their dating/romance/marriage radars at all. To even mention Black women as potential romantic partners was just utterly ridiculous to them. And even the ones who thought we were attractive still wouldn't date us seriously because of our low societal status. They didn't want to be seen with such low-status women as Black women (no matter how much the individual Black woman had accomplished nor her stellar qualities).
And SheCodes is right about how many Black men take their cues from the perceived "alpha males" in society. I cannot tell you how much attention I got from Black men when they saw me with a White man. These same dudes that not only igged me but left their Nike treadmarks on my back trying to get to the nearest light-skinned woman would be all "My Nubian sista, why are you with that ofay?" as if they actually gave a damn about me. Suddenly, I was fine and precious because an alpha male had deemed me so. My kinky hair was a beautiful example of Afrocentricity when a minute before it was an "ugly, nappy mess" on my head. I now had a glorious coffee-colored complexion whereas before I was an "ugly, tar-black gal," my features were "classically Nubian" whereas before they were "thick and monkeylike."
I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to be a discussion on dating and romance. But it all interconnects and helps to show just how devalued Black women are in this society and how that devaluation contributes to atrocities like this latest gang rape.
Okay, back on topic. I feel that Black women are utterly free to do whatever it is we see fit to protect and validate ourselves. We don't have to worry if any of our actions will offend a group and cost us allies because we have no allies. We cannot even count on other Black women to support our humanity. What's it going to cost us that we've not long since already lost? We don't and should not have to worry about catering to ANY group. Groups have had plenty of time to show their solidarity with us and they've all slept on it.
Notice I'm talking GROUPS and not individuals. Those already on the bus know what's up and will not judge us negatively for the often desperate actions we need to take to ensure simple self-preservation. And those people will not want a cookie and a parade for NOT treating Black women like unfeeling beasts of burden. And we won't have to constantly assure them that we don't mean them when we're ranting about the acts and attitudes of their brethren. If you're the type that needs constant reassurance and pats on the head for doing the right thing then this ain't the movement for you. Sistas are gonna need all our energies and resources for OURSELVES. And remember what I said before? No more Mammy bosoms of love for undeserving folk.
I hope I didn't come across as if I weren't aware that I benefit from light-skinned privilege, but if color issues are going to be raised here - especially in the context of sexual violence.
Perhaps I misread a few comments that suggested that lighter-skinned black women thought they were too "valued" to be victimized in this way, and witchsistah, it pains me that any woman, whatever her color, thought she could give you a "sucks to be you" attitude when all women are being targeted for violence.
Shecodes, from the pictures you shared of yourself, I can't believe it took you being seen with an "alpha male" for other guys to notice your beauty. You're gorgeous! Are our men really that stupid? (What am I talking about? I'm still single!)
What's happening here? I do agree the devaluation of black women has led to this devastating rise (or regression, if you will, since we've been targets since slavery) in sexual violence against us. We've always had to guard ourselves against this, but something is terribly wrong when so many of us are abandoned, left on our own to fend for ourselves. When the media talks about how so many of us are single, I think of the way they are giving the impression that so many of us are alone and, therefore, targetable for rape.
I too think that we need to improve our own self-defense and self-worth, and especially to improve our self-image of each other. I was surprised when the discussion of color came up because it sounded like old wounds and old resentments were being revisited, and witchsistah, while I can understand the bitterness and the rejection, and I'm really sorry that our color issues have divided us so badly here, it does pain me (I'm not going to lie) when you say things like
"these women finally admitted to catching the same hell that I saw, they expected me to provide them a shoulder to cry on. While I agreed that it did indeed suck, I was not going to be their Mammy. They chose back in the day to accept their unearned privilege even if it came at my (and other women like me) expense."
When you said that, it sounded like you were rejecting a certain hue of black womanhood from sisterhood, and if their rejection of you came first, then I do want to know how we can reconcile. Because, I'm going to say it again: we can mobilize and fend for ourselves individually all we want, but we as black women cannot win this battle against us with coming together collectively. We have GOT to come together on this, we have GOT to overcome our divides, we have GOT to overcome the heteropatriachy that is invested in tearing us apart from each other, because the main reason why black women have allowed ourselves to be divided on the color issue is due to sexual competition for men. Let's think about that.
Meanwhile, we're left to fend for ourselves and are so distrustful of each other, a black woman can actually hear another black woman get gang-raped for FOUR HOURS and take a nap!!!!!!!!
There's so much pain here when we talk about color, and I think black men (and the white supremacist society in which we live) have screwed with our heads majorly to prevent us from being able to unite and come together and strategize for our collective survival and success.
What will it take for us to get really angry (not in that stereotypical way black women get angry) but seriously angry so that people feel our collective wrath?
On another issue, I'm also going to register this: I knew, I just knew that after the Duke Lacrosse scandal, we as black women were going to be in trouble.
I'm not talking about whether or not you believe she was telling the truth about being raped. I'm talking about the methodical way in which she was discredited and slaughtered in the media. Once the media felt at liberty to circulate those boys' cellphone images of her body (while blotting out her face, as if this protected her identity), I knew we were in trouble.
And, I did not let it go unnoticed that, after that case, any other black female rape victim who came forward was not going to be taken seriously. And if I noticed that, you know all the would-be rapists noticed it too. After the way that accuser was massacred in the media, that was when Don Imus thought he could call the Rutgers basketball team "nappyheaded hos" and when the news of the Dunbar Village victim failed to make the headlines.
Just wait until the movie about the Duke lacrosse team comes out (you know a movie deal is the works, right?)...
The war is on! (In case you did not get that bulletin.)
@Everyone:
Please stop by the What About Our Daughters blog & look at the video Gina has put up under the post titled "More on the Gun Control Debate and Black Women."
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@Anxious Black Woman:
Actually, I'm happy that this came up. It forms the subtext to a lot of what's going on among Black women. I think it's best to get these things out in the open.
The darker sisters can speak for themselves. I'm just speaking from my observations. The first step to reconciliation is the acknowlegment that a wrong has been done. I haven't seen that happen because most of the lighter women I've encountered refuse to acknowlege ever receiving any sort of light-skin privilege.
Most light-skinned women that I've tried to discuss this issue with choose to 'play the nut role.' Too many claim not to notice any pattern to who gets Black men's attention.
That is, until years later, Black men started skipping over them too---to chase after Becky, Lupe, and Susie Kwon. All the while studiously avoiding discussing this issue with darker sisters. The basic attitude toward darker sisters' treatment was "Too bad. So sad."
I watched what some of my friends in high school called the 'quadroon set' of girls revel in being treated as 'the fairest of them all.' Even though many of them were only average in looks. And they knew it. They knew that light skin, hazel eyes, and wavy hair made up for their defects. Unlike non-conformist me, they mostly chose to remain quiet about the self-hating choices that were being made all around them.
Despite 'playing the nut role,' I'm convinced that most women have always known what time it is when it comes to Black males' attention. For example, in high school I knew that I could get away with doing things (such as cutting my hair & wearing a short 'fro') and still get Black male attention because I'm light-skinned. I doubt that I would have had the self-confidence to do that as a teenager if I hadn't been the recipient of light-skin privilege.
Very few lighter sisters raised their voices about this issue back in the day. Too many waited until THEY were the ones who were out of favor & out of fashion with Black men to have a problem with Black self-hatred.
I think a good place to start would be for those who were silent or clueless to 'fess up that the problem existed before it reached their particular doorstep.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
I was speechless when I first read this story. I have come to the conclusion that it is open season on black women of every hue. When a woman can hear another woman, and one she probably knew or had at least seen once since they were neighbors, scream and turn over and go to sleep, what kind of world do we live in? Not only is there no love between men and women, but there is also no love amongst women. It has been gut-wrenching over the last several months coming to the awareness that sistas are really in this world alone as the men who look like us have become our greatest predators. Anyone who fails to acknowledge this fact is living in a state of denial. I was in denial too, but after Dunbar Village and now this... I, nor any other sista can afford to bury our heads in the sand and continue to wait for our "men" to protect us.
As for the hueism thing, I'm with Khadijah and wichsistah on this issue. I just wrote a post about that on my blog.
As for owning guns, I have always been afraid of them. My dad has a handgun that he keeps under the mattress. He always wanted to teach us how to use it, but we always resisted. And there was no real reason to learn because he always took care of security issues for us. I guess I'll have to get over my fear.
Peace and solidarity,
Tasha
SheCodes,
The first thing I noticed about you when we met was your hair. I admired it and was inspired by its style. As a dark-skinned woman growing up and even today, I can't say that I was negatively affected by the light skin vs. dark skin issue. I'm wondering if it is because I am brown skinned (like the color of most black Americans) or because I have what many described as good hair that was also long. That is not to say that I take good hair to mean something that is close to the texture of whites, but just referencing the terminology of the day.
Because of the attitudes of those around me, I always felt fortunate that I am brown skinned rather than too dark or too light. To be too dark was to get teased but to be too light meant that you weren't black enough or the descendant of slave rape. The light skin folk around me suffered just as much abuse as those who were dark. Not saying its right, just adding another spin to this conversation.
I've since matured in my thought processes and no longer feel more fortunate than those who are lighter or darker than I am.
I do have a question for the women here who are married to white men. Do you ever discuss the negative treatment black women receive(from black men) with your husbands and what is their reaction? How do they generally view black men?
I'm going to follow tasha's lead and post a blog on the issue of hueism as well.
I need to give this issue a lot more thought, but I do recognize that being light-skinned comes with privileges, although not being white means this privilege often comes without power.
Which is why there's an old saying in the South: "All that yellow wasted."
Lormarie said:
I do have a question for the women here who are married to white men. Do you ever discuss the negative treatment black women receive(from black men) with your husbands and what is their reaction? How do they generally view black men?
~~~~~~~~~~
Hi Lormarie,
I admit I did not talk about BM to my husband. It just was a non issue at the time. Also, I didn't want to paint where I "came from" in such a negative light.
So we just lived our lives and that was that. However, since I've been blogging and getting more involved in BW blogs, I did have to inform my husband about ...alot of things.
Its a bit hurtful.
I think that's the truth for me. Its hurtful for people in my society to think (any more) lowly about blacks than SOME already do. NOT SAYING MY HUSBAND DOES. The last thing I wanted to do was to add more insult. The only consolation that I have is that as I learn more from the Torah perspective I'm relieved to know that big rabbis and kabbalists truly understand the plight of AA and black folks in general.
Thank you again, Khadija. But let me state that this privilege extends even beyond gaining Black male attention lest this discussion of colorism be dismissed as petty, female sexual jealousy (forget about the decrease in quality of life when you feel you'll never be loved). I've seen lighter-skinned Blacks favored at work. I've seen light-skinned Blacks favored over dark-skinned Blacks as friends of Blacks and non-Blacks alike. This can have a hefty impact economically. What if one of those friends can recommend one for a job? What if that favored treatment leads to a promotion or a raise? This is not just about petty, female jealousy.
And you're right, Khadija. I've had way too many light-skinned women act stuck on stupid when I tried to point out their privilege or act like "So what? Sucks to be you!" and then want to cry on my damn shoulder when the hammer finally came down on THEM. Yes, anxiousblackwoman, I was TRYING to be in solidarity with them, trying to tell them how Black men were treating us. But since the treatment hadn't gotten to THEM yet, they didn't care. They just lapped it up and didn't care on whose back their privilege was built.
And no, I don't go around giving light-skiinned peeps the stank-eye. But as soon as I hear "get over it" or "let's just forget all that privilege stuff and move on" I just freeze up. Basically, what you're doing by telling dark-skinned women that is the same that Black men do to Black women when they tell us to forget about all that sexism mess and concentrate on getting rid of racism (i.e. bettering Black men's chances for advancement in society at our expense). We're to shut up and not mention the inequities that we experience because we dare to exist. Sorry, but I don't believe in "solidarity" built on my back and at my expense.
For real solidarity to happen, this stuff has to be resolved and sticking your fingers in your ears and going "La, la, la!" is not going to cut it. I don't expect my gay, bi and trans sisters to allow me to carry on with my heterosexism and cis-genderism while they just silently suffer all in the name of some faux solidarity. I am not going to be silent as folk assert their religious privilege as well while telling me to just grin and take it in the name of ersatz solidarity.
While your privileges are mitigated (no where did I imply that they were absolute), they do exist and I and other women do not share in them. To tell us to just move ahead without addressing this is basically informing us that you'll keep your privileges, thank you and that we should just shut up about it. Not gonna happen.
Lormarie said:
I do have a question for the women here who are married to white men. Do you ever discuss the negative treatment black women receive(from black men) with your husbands and what is their reaction? How do they generally view black men?
________________________________
Yup, I've talked to my man about negative treatment of Black women. But I made it clear that treatment came from EVERYONE, not just Black men. I also stressed that I did not think that White men were our saviors and that my relationship before him proved that quite well.
I didn't hide the treatment I got for being Black, female and Afritypic. I've told him about many instances. I told him that I was shocked when he held the door open for me because that had rarely happened to me period. That in fact, I've had men let the door slam in my face while my arms and hands were full and look me dead in the eye while they did it. I told him that I was shocked when other White men did the same because we're all up in redneck-ville. I was shocked when men allowed me to board the bus first instead of damn near knock me to the ground to get on.
He was shocked at the quotidian acts of disdain I've had to deal with. And it wasn't just that those guys lacked manners with all women. Because I'd see them be all polite to non-Black, and lighter-skinned Black women. They'd hold open doors, offer seats, pull out chairs all the little chivalrous acts. But I got nothing but contempt.
His reaction? He thought everyone who treated me badly for being Black, female and dark were idiots. No, he didn't fault Black men more than any other group though I'm sure he saw their hypocrisy. But no, no screeds or tirades against Black men or big-upping of White men from him.
But I also told him that he's weird for a White man and that other White men thought him strange for even considering Black women to be attractive. When they find out he PREFERS Black women over other women they just think he's totally off.
Just curious:
Doesn't by definition, doesn't PRIVILEGE automatically mean someone is up and someone else is down?
sorry I know this is a basic question but I just want to be sure on this.
(I'm dark skinned. Or brown. Not quite sure where I fit in all this. I don't think I even know the whole dynamics of it all)
Yup, miriam. For a privilege to be a privilege some folk can not possess it. Usually the better the privilege, the rarer it is, and the fewer the folk who have it.
Witchsistah-
you, my dear, join Shecodes, Khadija, and a handful of others on my bomb.com list!
i often hear folks talk about the Rwandan genocide and the ill effects of dehumanizing people---now would be a great time to make those parallels.
Khadija, thank you for telling the truth and having the courage to call it like it is. it never ceases to amaze me when folks get all brand new. (i am NOT referring to anyone in this discussion.)
blessings to you all,
focusedpurpose
Most violent crime in the US is same-race crime. That is why it boggles my mind that so many American whites are afraid of blacks committing a violent act on their person--it pretty much ain't gonna happen.
I live in San Francisco, which is one of the whitest cities in these United States; with a black population that is decreasing with every year that passes. When I moved here, I did not move into [one of the few] black neighborhoods. However, I do not live in the posh part of town; my neighborhood is called Lower Nob Hill, and the block that I live on is right at the border with one of the seediest neighborhoods in the city, The Tenderloin. In all these years, since 1997, that border has never been crossed. Lately, however, I am noticing that a lot of young black men from the "lower class" have been in my neck of the woods, hanging out on corners--I do not know if they actually live here. I don't think so, because the rents ain't cheap. Nonetheless, with some conversations that I have overheard of theirs, it seems that many of them are parolees.
With the recent Supreme Court ruling that allows persons to have handguns in the home for self-defense, I shall be purchasing, then learning to use, a handgun.
And ladies, it's not just enough to get a gun or take a few self-defense courses. You must practice those moves until they become second nature to you and you must develope the resolve not to hesitate to use them if (Goddess forbid) the time comes!
Thank you, witchsistah, for reminding everyone that if you have any uncertainly or ambivalence about using a firearm or shooting someone, do not keep a firearm in your home. Take your training and make the mental and emotional adjustments needed to shoot someone.
Sounds rough, doesn't it: "shoot someone." But that's really what it is and if you are not comfortable with the idea of doing this or can't imagine yourself doing this, do not keep a firearm. In a crisis, an attacker may end up taking it away from you and using it on you and others.
Thanks to WitchSistah and Miriam for sharing your thoughts. The reason I asked is because from my experience with people I know, forming a relationship or even a marriage with a black woman does not necessarily free a white man from racial bias (particularly toward black males). I have also been told by a number of whites that there is generally less hostility on the part of racially biased whites toward black women as opposed to black men.
In all honesty, I am beginning to feel that there is more anger directed at black women from black people (men in particular) than from people of other races. For example, there are so many black women who are completely enamored with black men but I don't sense as much love or loyalty from black men to black women.
Another example: Someone also mentioned lurking at some of the white nationalist/racist sites. I have lurked on many of them and I noticed something that still completely baffles me. I've noticed a more sympathetic tone when they'd speak of black women specifically. That is not to say that black women are accepted by these people. It is to say that others notice what is going on between black men and women. I used to post on various race forums and I've seen on more than one occasion those who admitted to hating blacks all of a sudden come to a black woman's defense against a black man putting her down. I kid you all not. I'm not sure what to make of all of this, but I can't deny things any longer. No, I don't believe that all black men have angst toward black women. Things are just hitting the fan I guess. Well, I am glad that I can get this off of my chest in a forum in which I feel comfortable doing so.
Witchsista, I'm glad that someone actually "get's it". I've tried, on a few occassions to explain this whole hueism thing to some sistas, but it seems that some just don't want to listen.
And ABW, I interpreted Witchsistas original post a bit different than you did. I sort of got that she meant that the lighter skinned women, knowing that most black men held them in higher regard than their darker sisters(true), and therefore of higher 'value'(true), hence, where more likely to feel a need to protect them(true), felt that they would be at less risk of attack by these same black men(not true). That's how I understood it.
"I have also been told by a number of whites that there is generally less hostility on the part of racially biased whites toward black women as opposed to black men."
That competition between white and black men does not exist between white men and black women. This is a patriarchal society, so white men see black men as their threat and vice versa. However, if the white person was female, in all honesty of heart, the average white female would be alot more sympathetic, if at all, to the black male before she is to the black female. Don't be deceived by all this feminist mantra. Her only ally is herself(and white males, if we are being honest). The few white females who would actually have a sistas back are generally ignored by their fellow white females.
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"In all honesty, I am beginning to feel that there is more anger directed at black women from black people (men in particular) than from people of other races."
At the moment, black see black women as their competitors. You would see a black man who is perfectly fine with having a white boss, be they male or female, or a black male boss. But God forbid his boss is a black woman....! That is why one hears this folly(mainly from black male 'intellectuals'), that black females are taking the places meant for black males at schools, in the corporate world etc. This simply tells me that the average black man sees black women as his primary competitor. His main stumbling block. Hence the hatred. Look at what white males and females have done to black men throughout history, and look at how black women have foolishly supported these black males when they in no way deserved it. Yet, who does the black male want to emulate? Who does he worship and put on a pedestal? Who does he abuse?
_________________________
"For example, there are so many black women who are completely enamored with black men but I don't sense as much love or loyalty from black men to black women."
Black men, as do all men, know that women enjoy flattery, especially regarding their looks. So it's no mistake that you'd see a black celebrity get on tv proclaiming the beauty of all women who look nothing like his mother(for those with black mothers). It opens the doors for these women to accept them as romantic partners. Black women on the other hand, are used to be told their are ugly and undesirable, even by 'their own' men. Hence, the only way to avoid the rejection of other races of man is to reject them first. Addittionaly, many sisters keep on harping on that 'brothas are coming home'. Any sensible person knows that ain't happening. Some decades ago in Britain, the black women had the same attitude, yet black men never 'came home'. Nowadays, about 50% of them(black men) are in interracial relationships. It's as if most black women think that if they take on the persona of a battered or cheated-on wife, "it's my fault, he'll change, it's the other womans fault, he'll come home some day etc, that these black men will return to them. Thereby not having anymore energy to pay to the decent ones(many of them still black, despite what some might say).
______________________
"Another example: Someone also mentioned lurking at some of the white nationalist/racist sites. I have lurked on many of them and I noticed something that still completely baffles me. I've noticed a more sympathetic tone when they'd speak of black women specifically. That is not to say that black women are accepted by these people. It is to say that others notice what is going on between black men and women. I used to post on various race forums and I've seen on more than one occasion those who admitted to hating blacks all of a sudden come to a black woman's defense against a black man putting her down. I kid you all not. I'm not sure what to make of all of this, but I can't deny things any longer. No, I don't believe that all black men have angst toward black women. Things are just hitting the fan I guess. Well, I am glad that I can get this off of my chest in a forum in which I feel comfortable doing so."
Most times you see a white man insulting a black woman, it is usually his anger at black males manifesting as what he sees as 'their women'. It would surprise you to know that there are alot of single white men out there who blame black women for their lack of a white princess. In their head, if black women weren't so loud, aggressive, ghetto, fat etc(insert any other stereotype), 'our men' wouldn't leave us for white women. Similarly, when a racist comes to the 'defence' of a sister, he's only doing it because he/she feels it gives him someone else to attack. Most racist white males hate black men. They probably dont't hate black women as much or hate us in a different way. Most racist white females hate black women. Hense the reason why on all these racist stations(like FOX), most of their idiotic female hosts spend most of their time attacking black women and all we represent.
Not to get off topic but..
@LorMarie,
At times I wonder if the haters white and black just manifest their hate differently.
Blacks may be more emotional about it
Whites may be more calculating about it.
"When a black woman can actually lie down and take a nap while listening to the screams of a another black woman being gang raped, the way has been paved."
This woman does not understand that it could have easily been her in that situation and no one would have called the police.
One thing that should be addressed is that a lot of black women believe that when a fellow black woman is assaulted, that it is somehow her fault.
For example, we can look at domestic battery cases in the black community. The black woman is not seen as the victim but a willing and active participant. She is either too stupid to leave the relationship and deserves it, she is fighting her boyfriend, or is the one
kicking his butt.
Other black women will not call the cops, even when it's obvious that the woman is loosing. Or even advise to not call the cops.
I understand that people should honestly evaluate situations and to take responsibility for their actions. However, what is occurring is something different. There is no compassion. Everyone puts on his or her critical thinking caps when a black woman is involved. People do not see that a black woman is a WOMAN. Maybe because we are “strong” and unlike other women. Our experiences ARE different but that does not mean we deserve to be brutalized. It does not mean that we do not deserve mercy.
I understand now that our soiled media image hurts us. We are constantly portrayed as mean, spiteful and malicious. Who would have compassion on anyone with those characteristics? Would anyone would have called the police for this woman period? (white, black, Hispanic?)
I guess people have to be shunned and shamed to get the point across that beating or assaulting a black woman is just wrong.
Very much similar to the Dunbar Rape. This makes me sick. How can you roll over & sleep as if nothing is happening? This is sickening.
I'm so tired, hurt and sadden by this.
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This is a damn shame! This make me hate our Black Men! They (BM) have no respect for BW. Not to say that WM don't do this, but you don't hear WM doing drive by shootings and preying on women and children like animals. Evil has no color. Little Ms. Sleepy Head needs to be put under the jail for not reporting this crime. ANIMALS!!!!!!!
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Can someone please tell me if there were any verified reasons given for the woman's actions?
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